1.
Wouldn't a Justice Of The Peace be better for my wedding since I'm
not particularly religious?
2.
We've been living together. Since you're a minister, would you
require that we stop doing so before you would officiate our wedding?
3.
Will you do non-religious marriage ceremonies?
4.
Do you perform inter-faith religious ceremonies?
5.
Will you officiate a wedding ceremony at any location?
6.
I live in Massachusetts, and you're a clergyman in New Hampshire. Can
you legally officiate my wedding in my state?
7.
How do I go about creating a custom ceremony?
8.
Do you officiate less conventional types of religious ceremonies ,
e.g. a hand fasting marriage ceremony or a Celtic ceremony?
9.
What will you wear when you officiate my wedding?
10.
If I have an elopement wedding at your residence, how many witnesses
can I invite?
11.
Do I pay your fee before or after the ceremony?
12.
Is it customary to tip the wedding minister?
13.
Do you require a deposit to be reserved for my wedding date?
14.
Should I have a rehearsal before my wedding?
15.
What would you do to ensure my wedding is not delayed because an
emergency situation precludes your officiating my wedding?
16.
I've always wanted a church wedding, but neither I or my fiancé
belong to a church, so how can I have my wedding in a church?
17.
Do you perform marriage or civil union ceremonies for homosexual
couples?
1.
Wouldn't
a
Justice
Of The Peace
be
better for my wedding since I'm not particularly religious?
A.
There
are several reasons why your wedding would be better if I were your
wedding officiant rather than a Justice Of The Peace:
A
Justice Of The Peace, is an inferior rank judicial officer , usually
with a purchased commission from the state: basically a government
official not much higher on the bureaucratic ladder than a surly DMV
employee. Your wedding day is one of the most important days in your
life, so you deserve better than a government employee as your
officiant.
For
thousands of years, both religious and non-religious Brides and
Grooms have preferred ordained clergy for officiating their
weddings. A minister at your wedding adds a great sense of
seriousness and gravity to the occasion while at the same time
imparting an attitude of joy and celebration for your new union. On
the other hand settling for a Justice Of The Peace can give your
wedding the all the ambiance of a visit to the Internal Revenue
Service.
Even
though many couples might classify themselves as "non-religious",
a majority believe that there is a God. Having a minister officiate
your non-religious or religious wedding ceremony imparts to those
present, your recognition of a divine affirmation of the commitment
you want to make. Even if you are an avowed atheist, your
spouse-to-be my not share your non-belief and prefer a minister over
a J.P..
You
could pay more for a Justice Of The Peace! Why
pay more than you have to when my fees are probably less?
If
you explore the websites of most Justices Of The Peace and many
wedding ministers, you'll see that it is often very difficult to see
what their fees would be for officiating your wedding. They will say
things like, "Well it depends on the length of your ceremony",
or "It depends on how long I have to spend preparing for your
wedding." Frequently they will make you spend your valuable
time traveling to their location before they will tell you what it
would cost, hoping that you will pay almost anything after having
invested so much of your time with them. My fees
for full-weddings and my fees
for elopement weddings are
no secret. With a little simple math and mapquest.com
you can calculate your cost yourself before you ever contact me, or
I will be happy to do it for you by phone or email.
2.
We've
been living together. Since you're a minister, would you require that
we stop doing so before you would officiate our wedding?
A.
No!
I would not require that you stop living together, nor would I
require that you attend pre-marital counseling sessions or make you
jump through other hoops to get married. My goal is to get you
married not set up obstacles that will discourage you from making a
public and legal statement of your commitment to each other.
3.
Will
you do non-religious marriage ceremonies?
A.
Yes,
I will perform almost any civil ceremony you may choose. If you
haven't already chosen one I have a wide selection from which you can
choose or I would be happy to set an appointment with you with the
goal of creating your own custom civil ceremony.
4.
Do
you perform inter-faith religious ceremonies?
A.
Yes,
for all faiths that believe in the Judeo-Christian God of the Bible.
You can provide your own written ceremony for me to use I would be
happy to help you create your own.
5.
Will
you officiate a wedding ceremony at any location?
A.
Almost
any location that is safe to get to and safe for the officiation of
the marriage ceremony. I'm pretty open-minded about location, but
you'll have to tell me what you have in mind so I can tell you at
that time if I'm willing to officiate at that particular location. I
can tell you this: I don't think I could do it while sky-diving or on
a frozen lake with questionably thick ice.
6.
I
live in Massachusetts, and you're a clergyman in New Hampshire. Can
you legally officiate my wedding in my state?
A.
This
is not a barrier to my officiating your wedding. In order for me to
legally officiate your marriage in The Commonwealth Of Massachusetts,
I simply complete the "Out
of State Non-Resident Clergy--Petition to Solemnize"
form
and send it to the Secretary of the Commonwealth, no more than six
and no less than four weeks before your wedding. The Secretary of the
Commonwealth then sends me an "Out
of State Non-resident Clergy Solemnization Certificate"
which
bestows upon me the legal authority to officiate your marriage in the
Commonwealth of Massachusetts. After your marriage, I would send your
marriage license, completed by me, along with the "Out
of State Non-resident Clergy Solemnization Certificate"
to the town clerk from whom you obtained your marriage license.
7.
How
do I go about creating a custom ceremony?
A.
Just
do a web search on “Wedding Ceremonies”. There are lots
of different sites that offers hundreds if not thousands of different
ceremony ideas from which you can cut and paste or edit in your own
wording. You can also phone (603)
924-9645 to
schedule an appointment with me to help you create a custom ceremony
that perfectly articulates the love you and your betrothed have for
each other. Afterwards, I'll even email you a written copy of your
custom ceremony!
8.
Do
you officiate less conventional types of religious ceremonies , e.g.
a hand fasting marriage ceremony or a Celtic ceremony?
A.
My
ministry is to get men and women married, so, the answer is yes with
one caveat: the words in the ceremony cannot invoke the name of any
non-Biblical deity or spiritual entity, since my doing so would
compromise my own religious convictions. If you're not certain about
whether the ceremony you have in mind is one I can do, please email
me a copy or phone me regarding it's content.
9.
What
will you wear when you officiate my wedding?
A.
For
most weddings I will wear a dark suit with a white shirt and tie or a
dark suit with a black shirt and clerical collar. I will ask you
before your wedding which attire you prefer that I wear.
10.
If
I have an elopement wedding at your residence, how many witnesses can
I invite?
A.
Please
limit your invited guests
to no
more than six people. My residence is not spacious enough to
comfortably conduct an elopement wedding with a total of more than
eight people, including the bride & groom, in attendance. Also,
since the town of Peterborough requires that all the cars be parked
in my two-car-size driveway, you and your guests must arrive in no
more than two cars. Additionally, I request that you and your wedding
guests arrive at my residence and come to the front door at the same
time.
If
you would like to have more than six witnesses present for your
elopement wedding, another option is to have your wedding in your own
home or one of the many beautiful Outdoor
Locations in Peterborough.
11.
Do
I pay your fee before or after the ceremony?
A.
It
is customary to pay the officiant before
the
start of the ceremony. Many officiants require that the full amount
due be paid a week or more before the wedding. I don't, but I do
require the balance due before the start of the ceremony. By doing
so, I won't be forced to interrupt your post-nuptial celebrating to
pester you for payment. If there is a Best Man, he is the one usually
designated to convey the final payment to the officiant before
the
start of the ceremony.
12.
Is
it customary to tip the wedding minister?
A.
It
is not customary nor expected by me or most other officiants;
however, if you feel that I or any other officiant exceeded your
expectations in the service provided to you for your wedding and it
would please you to express your appreciation for this excellence, it
is a rare officiant who would turn down a tip.
13.
Do
you require a deposit to be reserved for my wedding date?
A.
For
Full-weddings I ask that you pay a $50.00 refundable deposit to
reserve me for your wedding day and time. It's my assurance that you
really plan on getting married at that time and your assurance that I
will not accept an offer to officiate another couple's wedding at the
day and time you've chosen.
Elopement
weddings scheduled no further than 4 weeks in advance or beyond a 10
mile radius of my home do not require a deposit; otherwise a $25
deposit is required to reserve your elopement wedding date.
14.
Should
I have a rehearsal before my wedding?
A.
We
will have already agreed to the content of your ceremony and will
both have a copy of the ceremony long before your wedding day
(elopement wedding excluded), so you will know what to expect. Also,
I always endeavor to arrive a minimum of one hour before the wedding,
so any potential issues can be recognized and addressed before the
start of the wedding. This in conjunction with my experience
officiating weddings, can allow you to forgo a rehearsal with my
presence and thus avoid the additional expense.
On
the other hand, if your ceremony includes elements that entail you
and the groom completing physical actions in conjunction with the
officiant, e.g. a unity candle ceremony or a sand ceremony, I've
found that most couples feel more confident and comfortable during
their wedding if they've had a formal rehearsal with me before the
wedding.
A
hybrid method for dealing with this issue, one that entails no
additional cost to you, is to stage a quick rehearsal an hour or half
hour before the start of the wedding. The downside to this is the old
tradition of the groom not seeing the bride before the wedding has to
be sacrificed on the altar of expediency.
15.
What
would you do to ensure my wedding is not delayed because an emergency
situation precludes your officiating my wedding?
A.
If
the emergency situation occurred a day or more before the wedding,
either I or my wife Denise acting on my behalf would contact you
immediately to let you know that I would not be able to fulfill my
committment.. Additionally, before contacting you regarding the
emergency, I would diligently attempt to secure the services of
another officiant, paid for by me, to fulfill my comitment.
Another
scenario, an unlikely one, is one that would occur on my way to your
wedding, e.g. an auto accident or breakdown or, God forbid, I get
lost. For just such an unlikely situation, long before the wedding
day, I always request a "Live Person" phone number from
you. Assuming I'm not unconscious by reason of a horrific auto
accident, I would then call that number to let you know that I'm
being delayed. The nature of the delaying emergency would dictate the
possible options for mitigating the situation. For instance, if the
delay was by reason of an auto accident or breakdown, I would attempt
to reach the wedding site by an alternative mode of transport, either
provided by me or a volunteer at the wedding site.
16.
I've
always wanted a church wedding, but neither I or my fiancé
belong to a church, so how can I have my wedding in a church?
A.
Most
Quaker Friends and Unitarian Universalist churches welcome the
opportunity to rent their church buildings to non-members for
weddings; however, before many mainstream churches will allow the use
of their sanctuary for a wedding service, they require that you be a
church member; however there are always exceptions to this rule. A
few minutes spent phoning your church venue candidates may pleasantly
surprise you with an exception to the "rule".
17.
Do
you perform marriage or civil union ceremonies for homosexual
couples?
A.
The
focus of my ministry is the promotion of marriage as physiologically,
biologically, historically and traditionally defined, i.e. between a
man and a woman, so I do not officiate same sex ceremonies.
It
the answer to your question can't be found here, don't hesitate to
contact me at:
or by phone at (603) 924-9645.
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